Since it's Christmas and the end of the year and all that (and a bag of chips), it's time here on Rasslin' Republicans, to find those amazing correlations between your favorite Pro Wrestlers and well known politicos. Why? Why Not? It beats coming up with good content or looking for links all over the web. I can just make this stuff up. For some reason Blogspot is FREAKING about me using a table, so I will convert...
Howard Dean -- I see him as a Paul E Dangerously type - not afraid to get upset, not afraid to use a little profanity. Not afraid to stretch the truth when the need arises
Dick Gephard-- Do you remember back when DX was going strong and Road Dogg would kinda hang back and do nothing (because Shawn was THE man) and just insert a new thing every once in awhile, with no new ideas of his actual own - that's our Dick
Joe Lieberman--Rey Mysterio, Jr, while he was "in" the LWO. Never wanted to be there, but he was kinda forced. A good guy in a bad situation.
John Kerry--Sgt Slaughter, but now, not back when he was kicking Iraqi butt
Wesley Clark--Guy's a basic chicken heel. Ted Dibiase or Ric Flair here. Knows how to ride with the best and knows how to tell a tale or two. Probably kiss-stealin' too - all those years in the service. You can get a girl for 5 bucks a month in some of those places.
Al Sharpton--Now is there any question that Rev Al is the reincarnation of the famous Rev Slick? He needs his own Akeem to settle the hash of these other bothers, brother!
Dennis Kucinich--I am giving Kucinich the Barry Horiwitz memorial award for best jobber
Carol Moseley Braun--Moseley-Braun is an interesting one, because she claims how close she is to winning, although she's only polling like .000000001 of a percent. For that kind of confidence in the face of insurmoutable odds, I think we'll have to compare her Zach Gowen
John Edwards-- John likes to yell and scream when he's "wronged", and plus, I need him to be a total jobber, so I am giving him the Iron Mike Sharpe award. Even though it's bit of a slam on Mike Sharpe
Don Rumsfeld -- Guy reminds me of VKM. Doesn't EVER think he's wrong. Books a little loose at times, but takes the lion's share of the credit when good things happen. Pretty effective though
Colin Powell -- Jimmy Hart. Talks, talks, talks some more, delivers messages. Talks. Once in a great while, up on the apron to interfere, but not enough.
Dubya -- Ric Flair back in the 80s. Unbeatable and knows it. Willing to try about anything and take anyone on. Small, but cocky.
You need to put in a few also-rans, never-rans and a few "who the hecks" as well
Al Gore --Doesn't Gore give you an all-over Hulk Hogan vibe? He's out of the limelight for once and needs to be back in, and I mean BAD. So He makes speeches dissing Dubya (Well, ya know, Mean Gene, when the Megamaniacs go wild on you, whatchagonna do?), snuggling up next to The Duck (Can you say N-W-O) and even turning his back on a trusted Ally in Loserman (I don't believe the lovely Ed Leslie was ever allowed in the NWO). Gore - Hogan - switched at birth. Al needs to get a dye job and grow a 'stash.
Hillary Clinton -- I really can't decide if she is Brock Lsnar as the next big thing or Nathan Jones as the over-hyped never a big thing. But Hillary better catch the wave soon, cause, like Brocky, she's got the Mojo, but like Nathan, she don't wanNa show her real skills
Dick Chaney -- Gotta give Chaney the Arn Anderson "enforcer" memorial award for being a butt-kicker who never wanted the top spot.
Jeb Bush -- Think this is the Brock award on the Republican side. He is the next big thing. You heard it here 1st - 1st set of brothers to be president back to back.
Evan Bayh -- Totally screwed. A Lib playing a conservative, wanting the top job, but willing to play for the second spot. Strong, hard, but never a chance to play for the top job, because he's not from a "big-enough" state. Technically, very good. Hello, Chris Benoit
Arnold Schwarzenegger -- It's SID! But less understandable. Just like Sid went away to play softball, Arnold's gonna go make a Movie - you watch
AWArulz
Howard Dean -- I see him as a Paul E Dangerously type - not afraid to get upset, not afraid to use a little profanity. Not afraid to stretch the truth when the need arises
Dick Gephard-- Do you remember back when DX was going strong and Road Dogg would kinda hang back and do nothing (because Shawn was THE man) and just insert a new thing every once in awhile, with no new ideas of his actual own - that's our Dick
Joe Lieberman--Rey Mysterio, Jr, while he was "in" the LWO. Never wanted to be there, but he was kinda forced. A good guy in a bad situation.
John Kerry--Sgt Slaughter, but now, not back when he was kicking Iraqi butt
Wesley Clark--Guy's a basic chicken heel. Ted Dibiase or Ric Flair here. Knows how to ride with the best and knows how to tell a tale or two. Probably kiss-stealin' too - all those years in the service. You can get a girl for 5 bucks a month in some of those places.
Al Sharpton--Now is there any question that Rev Al is the reincarnation of the famous Rev Slick? He needs his own Akeem to settle the hash of these other bothers, brother!
Dennis Kucinich--I am giving Kucinich the Barry Horiwitz memorial award for best jobber
Carol Moseley Braun--Moseley-Braun is an interesting one, because she claims how close she is to winning, although she's only polling like .000000001 of a percent. For that kind of confidence in the face of insurmoutable odds, I think we'll have to compare her Zach Gowen
John Edwards-- John likes to yell and scream when he's "wronged", and plus, I need him to be a total jobber, so I am giving him the Iron Mike Sharpe award. Even though it's bit of a slam on Mike Sharpe
Don Rumsfeld -- Guy reminds me of VKM. Doesn't EVER think he's wrong. Books a little loose at times, but takes the lion's share of the credit when good things happen. Pretty effective though
Colin Powell -- Jimmy Hart. Talks, talks, talks some more, delivers messages. Talks. Once in a great while, up on the apron to interfere, but not enough.
Dubya -- Ric Flair back in the 80s. Unbeatable and knows it. Willing to try about anything and take anyone on. Small, but cocky.
You need to put in a few also-rans, never-rans and a few "who the hecks" as well
Al Gore --Doesn't Gore give you an all-over Hulk Hogan vibe? He's out of the limelight for once and needs to be back in, and I mean BAD. So He makes speeches dissing Dubya (Well, ya know, Mean Gene, when the Megamaniacs go wild on you, whatchagonna do?), snuggling up next to The Duck (Can you say N-W-O) and even turning his back on a trusted Ally in Loserman (I don't believe the lovely Ed Leslie was ever allowed in the NWO). Gore - Hogan - switched at birth. Al needs to get a dye job and grow a 'stash.
Hillary Clinton -- I really can't decide if she is Brock Lsnar as the next big thing or Nathan Jones as the over-hyped never a big thing. But Hillary better catch the wave soon, cause, like Brocky, she's got the Mojo, but like Nathan, she don't wanNa show her real skills
Dick Chaney -- Gotta give Chaney the Arn Anderson "enforcer" memorial award for being a butt-kicker who never wanted the top spot.
Jeb Bush -- Think this is the Brock award on the Republican side. He is the next big thing. You heard it here 1st - 1st set of brothers to be president back to back.
Evan Bayh -- Totally screwed. A Lib playing a conservative, wanting the top job, but willing to play for the second spot. Strong, hard, but never a chance to play for the top job, because he's not from a "big-enough" state. Technically, very good. Hello, Chris Benoit
Arnold Schwarzenegger -- It's SID! But less understandable. Just like Sid went away to play softball, Arnold's gonna go make a Movie - you watch
AWArulz
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