With the Royal Rumble and the Iowa Caucus both approaching, I thought it appropriate to compare the two.
Right now, everyone is claiming they’re going to win both contests. Goldberg’s gonna win. No, The Crippler is. No, it’s The Prototype (John Cena for you non-OVW Cena fans). And of course there will be many jobbers. The guys you know aren’t winning. Guys like Christian or Spanky or those guys from La Resistance. And at the end, there will be two or maybe three guys, who will duke it out until one remains – and barely remains.
So does it seem in Iowa as well. A week ago, Howard the Duck was in the lead. Last man in the ring, so to speak, while Joltin’ John Kerry was, like Benoit, first in, with 60 minutes to go. But now, like Ric Flair, in his fabled first entry into the Royal Rumble many years ago (93??), he’s made it through the first 55 minutes and only has a couple guys to toss over the ropes. His poll numbers show him virtually even with Howard Dean, Wesley Clark and Dick Gephardt.
This is the kind of situation, Slick Ric would say, that requires a poke to the eye or two. Look for it to happen. In fact, it’s happening already.
Howie calls Gen Clark a Republican (The Horror!)
John Kerry, it the inimitable tradition of The Rock, pulls out his guitar and has a kerry-concert for the undecided.
As often happens in Battle Royals, a couple of the entertainers team up, sometimes to get rid of a big ‘un. You know, like when Junkyard Dog, Hacksaw Jim Duggin, Hillbilly Jim and Adrian Adonis would team together to toss Andre the Giant over the top rope. Of course, Howie, you should know that, like Ric Flair going to the top rope, that never worked. So then they all went to work on big John Studd. Carol Mosley-Braun has tossed her mosquito-like support to Howard the Duck. No doubt that will turn the tide in Iowa. You can bet Mosley-Braun will take credit if Howie wins. The same way Hillbilly Jim celebrated with Hogan back in the day.
But who’s still around? That’ll be the question after Iowa. (Bye, Bye, John Edwards)
AWArulz
Right now, everyone is claiming they’re going to win both contests. Goldberg’s gonna win. No, The Crippler is. No, it’s The Prototype (John Cena for you non-OVW Cena fans). And of course there will be many jobbers. The guys you know aren’t winning. Guys like Christian or Spanky or those guys from La Resistance. And at the end, there will be two or maybe three guys, who will duke it out until one remains – and barely remains.
So does it seem in Iowa as well. A week ago, Howard the Duck was in the lead. Last man in the ring, so to speak, while Joltin’ John Kerry was, like Benoit, first in, with 60 minutes to go. But now, like Ric Flair, in his fabled first entry into the Royal Rumble many years ago (93??), he’s made it through the first 55 minutes and only has a couple guys to toss over the ropes. His poll numbers show him virtually even with Howard Dean, Wesley Clark and Dick Gephardt.
This is the kind of situation, Slick Ric would say, that requires a poke to the eye or two. Look for it to happen. In fact, it’s happening already.
Howie calls Gen Clark a Republican (The Horror!)
John Kerry, it the inimitable tradition of The Rock, pulls out his guitar and has a kerry-concert for the undecided.
As often happens in Battle Royals, a couple of the entertainers team up, sometimes to get rid of a big ‘un. You know, like when Junkyard Dog, Hacksaw Jim Duggin, Hillbilly Jim and Adrian Adonis would team together to toss Andre the Giant over the top rope. Of course, Howie, you should know that, like Ric Flair going to the top rope, that never worked. So then they all went to work on big John Studd. Carol Mosley-Braun has tossed her mosquito-like support to Howard the Duck. No doubt that will turn the tide in Iowa. You can bet Mosley-Braun will take credit if Howie wins. The same way Hillbilly Jim celebrated with Hogan back in the day.
But who’s still around? That’ll be the question after Iowa. (Bye, Bye, John Edwards)
AWArulz
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